Only it's not. Not for me. For me, today is the day that my baby was due. It's the day I was supposed to be a mommy again. Even though I have a strong feeling that little B would have shown his rosy cheeked face on Sunday the 21st, today was still the day that the all the pregnancy calculators said it would be.
I'm trying so hard to move forward. And for the most part I do pretty well. A day doesn't go by that I don't think about him but I can get through the thought without feeling horrible anymore. I just can't help but wonder what life could have been like. I realize that there are those that would tell me that life is exactly as it should be and that my baby just wasn't meant to be. I don't believe that. I believe he was. Maybe he wasn't anyone that would be counted on a censes but he was someone to me.
I'm painfully tired and more ready to sleep than I have been in a long time but I'll power through until 5:00 and then go home and let blissful sleep take over for a while. Because sometimes, your mind and your heart and your body just need a break.